Posted by on December 29, 2008
Before planning a funeral you should know that death care in America is a business. There are service providers (e.g. funeral homes, cemeteries, and headstone dealers) and there are consumers (people like you and me who need to make funeral arrangements).
Like any business, funeral homes and cemeteries should provide their goods and services on an honest and fair basis. Unfortunately, this rarely happens as several characteristics unique to the funeral industry place the consumer at a significant disadvantage when making funeral arrangements.
Unique characteristics inherent in planning a funeral:
· disorientation caused by bereavement
· infrequency of purchase
· lack of objective information
· the need to make decisions quickly
· social taboos surrounding death
· lack of standards by which to judge funeral goods & services
· the fact that most people:
o fail to view funeral arrangements as a business transaction
o are ignorant of the law as it pertains to disposal of the dead
o know very little about how a funeral home operates
Together these characteristics place consumers at a significant disadvantage when making funeral arrangements. Funeral homes are staffed by experienced salesmen who deal with the business of death every day. These professional salespeople square off against emotionally distraught families forced to act hastily with little or no information about legal requirements and available options.
The profit-obsessed nature of the funeral industry creates a conflict of interest between the desire for sales and the consumer’s need for meaning and affordability. The funeral home can make substantially more money if they can manipulate a family into buying unnecessary and overpriced items. In this unbalanced and highly charged environment, purchase decisions are often based on what the funeral home offers to sell instead of what the family wants (or can afford) to purchase. This increases consumer costs and decreases consumer satisfaction with the goods and services received.
This website and the Funeral Saver’s Kit ”level the playing field”. Together they give you, the consumer, objective information and tools needed to understand, evaluate, and make satisfying and affordable funeral arrangements.
A major assumption that lies behind modern funeral practices is that “nothing is too good for the dead”….but you are NOT being disrespectful to the deceased by being practical regarding the arrangements.
Most people want to avoid looking cheap when making funeral arrangements. They want to arrange “a nice, decent funeral”, but they have no idea what a nice, decent funeral looks like. And everybody is concerned about price – so don’t feel guilty about wanting or needing to make less expensive arrangements. Did you know that when President John F. Kennedy died, even his family didn’t want to overpay? The Kennedy family’s accountant was hired to review the funeral home’s bill and identify unnecessary charges. In the end, the accountant was able to save the family a substantial amount of money.
There will be a temptation to just throw up your hands and let the funeral director make all the decisions because of time pressures, uncomfortable decisions, and the emotional stress of dealing with all the pertinent details, but that can be an expensive and unnecessary mistake.
Next to a house and car, a funeral is the third most expensive purchase the average American citizen makes during his lifetime. Just as you are careful when buying a car or house, being careful when making funeral arrangements can result in tremendous financial savings.
The Funeral Saver’s Kit, along with this website, gives you honest advice regarding choices and prices…after all, you have to live the rest of your life with the decisions you make in an hour or two; if you waste money now, it’s gone forever.
The key to feeling comfortable and saving money is knowing the available alternatives and asking for them – and that’s what you’ll learn using the help you find here.
Remember, stripped to its simplest form a funeral is merely saying goodbye and disposing of the remains…all else is really unnecessary.
Click here to learn more about planning a funeral.
Posted by on December 26, 2008
ARRANGEMENT CONFERENCE – A meeting held between the funeral director and family members of the deceased to finalize funeral arrangements. During this meeting the funeral director will discuss the family’s wishes and budget and prepare a binding contract for the funeral goods and services selected by the family. This meeting usually takes place at the funeral home shortly after death has occurred. However, it may also be held at a hospital or the family’s home.
ARRANGEMENT ROOM – A room at the funeral home used to make the necessary funeral arrangements with the family of the deceased.
BEREAVED – (N) The immediate family of the deceased. (V) suffering from grief upon the death of a loved one.
BURIAL – Placing of a dead body in an underground chamber – earth burial- interment
BURIAL CERTIFICATE OR PERMIT – A legal paper issued by the local government authorizing burial. The permit may authorize earth burial or cremation or removal to a distant point.
CASKET – A receptacle of wood, metal or plastic into which the dead human body is placed for burial. Sometimes referred to as a “coffin”.
CASKET COACH – Hearse – A special car designed and used to transport casketed remains from the funeral service to the cemetery. Also known as a Funeral Coach.
CEMETERY – An area of ground set aside for burial or entombment of the deceased.
CERTIFIED DEATH CERTIFICATE – A legalized copy of the original certificate, issued upon request by the local government for the purpose of substantiating various claims by the family of the deceased such as insurance and other death benefits.
CHAPEL – A large room in the funeral home in which the farewell service is held.
COLUMBARIUM – A granite wall for placing an urn containing cremated remains.
COMMITTAL SERVICE – The final portion of the funeral service at which time the deceased is interred or entombed.
COSMETOLOGY – Utilization of cosmetics to restore life like appearance to the deceased.
CREMAINS – another term for “ashes”.
CREMATION – Reduction of the body to ashes by fire.
CREMATION PERMIT – A certificate issued by local government authorizing cremation of the deceased.
CREMATORY – A furnace for cremating remains – a building housing such a furnace.
CRYPT – A vault or room used for keeping remains.
DEATH CERTIFICATE – A legal paper signed by the attending physician showing the cause of death and other vital statistical data pertaining to the deceased.
DEATH NOTICE – That paragraph in the classified section of a newspaper, or on the Internet, publicizing the death of a person and giving those details of the funeral service the survivors wish to have published. Sometimes referred to as an obituary.
DECEASED – (N) one in whom all physical life has ceased; (V) dead.
DISPLAY ROOM – That room in the funeral home in which caskets, urns, and other funeral merchandise is displayed.
EMBALM – The process of preserving a dead body by means of circulating a preservative embalming fluid through the veins and arteries.
EMBALMING FLUID – Liquid chemicals used in preserving a dead body.
EULOGY- A brief speech (or speeches) that offers praise and celebrates the life of the person who has died.
EXHUME – To dig up the remains; to remove from the place of burial.
FAMILY CAR – A limousine in the funeral procession set aside for the use of the immediate family. This is the car right behind the hearse in the funeral procession.
FLOWER CAR – A vehicle used for the transportation of flower pieces from the funeral home to the church and/or cemetery.
FINAL RITES – The funeral service.
FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS – Funeral director’s conference with the family for the purpose of completing financial and service details of a funeral.
FUNERAL DIRECTOR – A person who prepares for the burial or other disposition of dead human bodies, supervises such burial or disposition, maintains a funeral establishment for such purposes. Also known as a mortician or undertaker.
FUNERAL HOME – A building used for the purpose of embalming, arranging and conducting funerals.
FUNERAL SERVICE – 1) The profession which deals with the handling of dead human bodies; 2) The religious or other rites conducted immediately before final disposition of the dead human body.
FUNERAL SPRAY – A large bunch of cut flowers sent to the residence of the deceased or to the funeral home as a floral tribute to the deceased.
GRAVE – An excavation in the earth for the purpose of burying the deceased .
GRAVE LINER – A receptacle made of concrete, metal or wood into which the casket is placed. Normally this item has four sides and a top but no bottom. The main purpose of this item is to prevent the ground from sinking down around the grave site as the earth settles. By keeping the grass above the grave level with the rest of the cemetery, it’s easier to mow. This item is less expensive than a vault.
GRAVE (OR MEMORIAL) MARKER – A headstone. A method of identifying the occupant of a particular grave. Permanent grave markers are usually made of metal or stone and give data such as the name of the individual, date and place of birth, date and place of death.
HONORARY PALLBEARERS – Friends or members of a religious, social or fraternal organization who act as an escort or honor guard for the deceased. Honorary pallbearers do not carry the casket.
INTER – To bury a dead body in the earth in a grave or tomb.
INURNMENT – The placing of cremains (i.e. “ashes”) into an urn.
LEAD CAR – The vehicle in which the funeral director and sometimes the clergyman rides. When the procession is formed, the lead car moves to the front and leads the procession to the church and/or cemetery. This car is usually in front of the hearse.
LIMOUSINE – An automobile designed to seat five or more persons behind the driver’s seat.
MASS CARDS – A card indicating that a Mass for the deceased has been arranged. (Catholic religion)
MAUSOLEUM – A building specially designed with several chambers to receive casketed remains. A permanent above ground resting place for the dead.
MEMORIAL – the generic name given to any type of headstone or flat marker used to identify the occupant of a particular grave or crypt. A marker is usually a flat piece of granite or bronze upon which identifying data is inscribed. A headstone is usually two large pieces of granite or marble upon which the identifying information is carved. The identifying information may include the name of the individual, date and place of birth, date and place of death. NOTE: in this kit I use the term “memorial” to represent any type of headstone or marker. Section 2 of this kit describes in detail the various types and features of memorial markers available.
MEMORIAL DONATION – A memorial contribution specified to a particular cause or charity, usually in lieu of flowers.
MEMORIAL SERVICE – A religious service conducted in memory of the deceased without the body being present. This term also applies when the service is conducted while the ashes / cremains are present.
MORGUE – A place in which the bodies of persons found dead are kept until identified and claimed or until arrangements for burial have been made.
MORTICIAN – See funeral director.
MORTUARY – A synonym for funeral home – a building specifically designed and constructed for caring for the dead.
MOURNER – One who is present at the funeral out of affection or respect for the deceased.
NICHE – A small opening or recess in a wall that is used to display an urn containing cremated remains.
OBITUARY – A notice of the death of a person usually placed in a newspaper, or on the Internet, containing a biographical sketch of the deceased person. Sometimes referred to as a death notice.
PALLBEARERS – Individuals whose duty it is to carry the casket when necessary during funeral service. Pallbearers in some sections of the country are hired and in other sections they are close friends and relatives of the deceased.
PLOT – A specific area of ground in a cemetery owned by a family or individual. A plot usually contains two or more graves. This is the space used to bury the casketed body or an urn containing cremains (ashes).
PREARRANGED FUNERAL – Funeral arrangements completed by an individual prior to his/her death.
PRIVATE SERVICE – This service is by invitation only and may be held at a place of worship, a funeral home or a family home. This type of service is not open to the public or uninvited friends and family members.
PROCESSION – The vehicular movement of the funeral from the place where the funeral service was conducted to the cemetery. May also apply to a church funeral where the mourners follow the casket as it is brought into and taken out of the church.
PUTREFACTION – The decomposition of the body upon death which causes discoloration and the formation of a foul smelling product.
REGISTER – A book made available by the funeral director for recording the names of people visiting the funeral home to pay their respects to the deceased. Also has space for entering other data such as name, dates of birth and death of the deceased, name of the officiating clergyman, place of interment, time and date of service, list of floral tributes, etc.
REMAINS – The deceased.
REPOSING ROOM – A room of the funeral home where a body is stored from the time it is casketed until the time of the funeral service.
RESTORATION – The process of restoring mutilated and distorted features by employing wax, creams, plaster, etc.
RIGOR MORTIS – Rigidity of the muscles which occurs at death.
SERVICE CAR – Usually a utility vehicle such as a pickup truck or van. It is utilized to transport chairs, flower stands, shipping cases, etc.
SPIRITUAL BANQUET – A Roman Catholic practice involving specific prayers, such as Masses and Rosaries, offered by an individual or a group for a definite purpose.
SURVIVOR – The persons outliving the deceased, particularly the immediate family.
SYMPATHY CARDS – A card sent to the family to express sympathy.
URN – A container into which cremated remains are placed, made of metal, wood or stone.
VAULT – A receptacle made of concrete, metal or wood into which the casket is placed. Normally this item has four sides and both a top and bottom. The main purpose of this item is to prevent the ground from sinking down around the grave site as the earth settles. By keeping the grass above the grave level with the rest of the cemetery, it is easier to mow. This item is more expensive than a grave liner – but it serves the same purpose.
VIEWING - An opportunity for survivors and friends to view the closed casket of the deceased in private, usually in a special room within the funeral home.
VIGIL – A Roman Catholic religious service held on the eve of the funeral service.
VISITATION – An opportunity for survivors and friends to view the open casket of the deceased in private, usually in a special room within the funeral home.
WAKE – A watch kept over the deceased, sometimes lasting the entire night preceding the funeral.
Learn more about funeral and cremation planning.
Posted by on December 17, 2008
I’ll admit that gathering information about funeral prices is harder than it should be. In addition, funeral homes and cemeteries are subject to different requirements when it comes to providing you with information about their prices and options.
Funeral prices are not set in stone
If you only take away one thing from this article it should be this: funeral prices can vary greatly from one funeral home to the next. This means a funeral service at one funeral home can cost thousands of dollars more than a similar service held at another funeral home right down the street….so it pays to shop around!
Why we don’t compare funeral prices
Unfortunately, most people do not compare prices between funeral homes. This is understandable for a couple of reasons:
- We don’t like to talk about or plan for death
- Funeral plans often need to be made quickly – this can be especially burdensome when the death was unexpected
- Most people simply do not know enough about funeral planning to even know what questions to ask or what items to compare
- No one wants to be perceived as being cheap when it comes to making funeral arrangements for a loved one
However, you should approach the process of buying funeral goods and services just like you would any other major purchase – take the time to educate yourself as to the options and prices available in the marketplace.
Unfortunately, many funeral homes and cemeteries are reluctant to share their prices with you unless you use specific language when making your request. They know they stand a much better chance of selling you an expensive funeral if they can first get you into their office before providing any information about funeral costs.
The good news is that there are specific things you can say that will force the funeral home to give you their price information for FREE….and no funeral home would ever dare give you a sales pitch when you use this specific language.
An easier way to gather information about funeral prices
If you’re using the Funeral $aver’s Kit you’ll find a simple chart that clearly explains an easy (and low stress) way to collect pricing information from any funeral home in your area. The kit tells you exactly what to say to ensure you get honest information at no cost to you. You can use this to collect information from every funeral home in your area or just those that interest you.
The best advice I can give you when it comes to collecting funeral price information is this: DON’T be afraid to pick up the phone and call it least three funeral homes in your area and ask them for a copy of their “general price list”.
Each funeral home’s general price list will describe services and merchandise in similar terms. This makes it easy to compare relative prices between competing funeral homes. Also, if a funeral home gives you a hard time about giving you information about their prices, forget them. That’s a good clue they know their prices will not compare favorably to their competitors.
Remember to compare your local price information to the actual price ranges included in the Funeral $aver’s Kit…so you can be certain you’re getting a fair deal.
Click for more detailed information about funeral prices.
Posted by on December 8, 2008
Choosing certain types of funeral or cremation arrangements can eliminate many unnecessary funeral costs. Choosing wisely will prevent you from being charged for lots of “extras” no one told you about.
Since most families do not plan funerals very often, they usually don’t realize what’s included (or excluded) in the decisions they make. All too often a family simply agrees to the funeral director’s recommendations – only to end up surprised when their final bill is 30% higher than expected.
Even though many of the goods and services offered by a funeral home are priced on an individual basis, certain selections you make will automatically trigger additional costs. Unfortunately, most families don’t find out about these additional costs until after the service is over and they get the funeral director’s bill.
Here’s an example of how this works:
When meeting with the funeral director he might suggest a “traditional” funeral priced at $500. You agree….thinking $500 isn’t too bad. However, what you didn’t realize (and what the funeral director failed to mention) is that a “traditional” funeral also means that you will need:
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embalming (another $500)
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casket ($1,500)
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viewing or visitation ($500)
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cemetery space ($1,000)
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open & closing the grave site ($750)
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outer burial container ($1,000)
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headstone ($1,500)
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announcing the funeral in a newspaper ($250)
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use of a hearse ($200)
….so when the funeral director said the “traditional” funeral service costs $500 – he meant it would cost $500 to hold the actual 45 minute funeral service. But, by choosing a “traditional” funeral service, you were also agreeing to purchase all of the other things that are required to conduct a traditional funeral.
In this case your total cost would be closer to $7,700. This is a realistic example (the average traditional funeral costs nearly $8,000). Simply understanding what’s included in the decisions you make can help you avoid such a nasty financial surprise.
You can use a resource like the Funeral $aver’s Kit to learn about the types of funeral, burial, and cremation arrangements from which you can choose. Section 2 of the kit identifies costs associated with each service and clearly shows which expenses will be included (or excluded) based on the choices you make.
Generally, your least expensive options (in order of increasing price) are:
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medical donation
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direct cremation
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immediate burial
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cremation with service
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traditional funeral
Click to learn more about the Funeral Saver’s Kit.
