Archive for Funeral Planning Guidance – Page 2

What is direct cremation?

This article discusses direct cremation.  There are three main reasons people choose cremation over body burial: 

  • it’s less expensive
  • it saves land
  • it provides increased mobility (i.e. it is easy to transport / relocate cremains)

A point of clarification before we get started: cremation replicates the same process that a buried body eventually undergoes.  Over time, a buried body decomposes and ends up as ashes – just like what happens through cremation.  

A description of direct cremation

When you choose direct cremation, the body is taken directly from the place of death (or morgue) to the crematory where it is exposed to high heat and reduced to a sand-like consistency.

Normally, the body stops at the funeral home or crematory (some funeral homes have their own on-site crematory) just long enough to secure the death certificate and cremation permit – and for the family to sign the cremation authorization form.

No funeral or visitation ceremonies are held when you choose direct cremation. Furthermore, the body is not embalmed, nor does it receive hair care or makeup application.  Since the body will be cremated without first having a viewing ceremony, these services are unnecessary.

You do not need to purchase a casket for the cremation process.  You can instead choose to place the body in a special cardboard box known as an “alternative container.”  This saves the expense of buying an expensive casket.

The actual cremation arrangements can be made directly with a crematory or at a funeral home.  Some funeral homes do the cremation themselves; while others contract the actual cremation out to a separate crematory.

Direct cremation:  a summary of the main steps

  • removal of body to funeral home or crematory
  • obtain permits and authorization
  • body heated in a cremation oven (called a “retort”)
  • cremains (i.e. ashes) returned to family
  • family can dispose of cremains as they see fit

Most families simply take the cremains home in a cardboard box or urn.  Some families will later decide to scatter the cremains at a favorite location, bury them in a cemetery plot, or store them in an urn on the living room mantle.  There are lots of options for cremains.  Click here to learn more about direct cremation options and prices.

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What you must know before planning a funeral

Before planning a funeral you should know that death care in America is a business.  There are service providers (e.g. funeral homes, cemeteries, and headstone dealers) and there are consumers (people like you and me who need to make funeral arrangements). 

 

Like any business, funeral homes and cemeteries should provide their goods and services on an honest and fair basis.  Unfortunately, this rarely happens as several characteristics unique to the funeral industry place the consumer at a significant disadvantage when making funeral arrangements. 

 

Unique characteristics inherent in planning a funeral:

 

·        disorientation caused by bereavement

·        infrequency of purchase

·        lack of objective information

·        the need to make decisions quickly

·        social taboos surrounding death

·        lack of standards by which to judge funeral goods & services

·        the fact that most people:

o       fail to view funeral arrangements as a business transaction

o       are ignorant of the law as it pertains to disposal of the dead

o       know very little about how a funeral home operates

 

Together these characteristics place consumers at a significant disadvantage when making funeral arrangements.  Funeral homes are staffed by experienced salesmen who deal with the business of death every day.  These professional salespeople square off against emotionally distraught families forced to act hastily with little or no information about legal requirements and available options.

 

The profit-obsessed nature of the funeral industry creates a conflict of interest between the desire for sales and the consumer’s need for meaning and affordability.  The funeral home can make substantially more money if they can manipulate a family into buying unnecessary and overpriced items.  In this unbalanced and highly charged environment, purchase decisions are often based on what the funeral home offers to sell instead of what the family wants (or can afford) to purchase.  This increases consumer costs and decreases consumer satisfaction with the goods and services received. 

 

This website and the Funeral Saver’s Kit ”level the playing field”.  Together they give you, the consumer, objective information and tools needed to understand, evaluate, and make satisfying and affordable funeral arrangements. 

 

A major assumption that lies behind modern funeral practices is that “nothing is too good for the dead”….but you are NOT being disrespectful to the deceased by being practical regarding the arrangements.

 

Most people want to avoid looking cheap when making funeral arrangements.  They want to arrange “a nice, decent funeral”, but they have no idea what a nice, decent funeral looks like.  And everybody is concerned about price – so don’t feel guilty about wanting or needing to make less expensive arrangements.  Did you know that when President John F. Kennedy died, even his family didn’t want to overpay?  The Kennedy family’s accountant was hired to review the funeral home’s bill and identify unnecessary charges.  In the end, the accountant was able to save the family a substantial amount of money.

 

There will be a temptation to just throw up your hands and let the funeral director make all the decisions because of time pressures, uncomfortable decisions, and the emotional stress of dealing with all the pertinent details, but that can be an expensive and unnecessary mistake. 

 

Next to a house and car, a funeral is the third most expensive purchase the average American citizen makes during his lifetime.  Just as you are careful when buying a car or house, being careful when making funeral arrangements can result in tremendous financial savings.

 

The Funeral Saver’s Kit, along with this website, gives you honest advice regarding choices and prices…after all, you have to live the rest of your life with the decisions you make in an hour or two; if you waste money now, it’s gone forever.

 

The key to feeling comfortable and saving money is knowing the available alternatives and asking for them – and that’s what you’ll learn using the help you find here. 

 

Remember, stripped to its simplest form a funeral is merely saying goodbye and disposing of the remains…all else is really unnecessary.

 

Click here to learn more about planning a funeral.

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Basic facts about the cremation process

This brief article shares facts about the cremation process.  Most bodies that are cremated are placed in something combustible.  Typical cremation containers include heavy cardboard trays, cardboard or wood caskets, or canvas body bags. 

Only 15 percent of cremations include the use of a casket.  This means nearly 85 percent of cremations take place using a less expensive cardboard container or canvas bag. 

Cremation process

The typical cremation process takes somewhere between one and two hours to complete.  The actual time varies in proportion to the size of the deceased, with larger bodies taking slightly longer to cremate. 

Cremation heats the body and container at a high enough temperature to reduce all contents to cremains.  “Cremains” is the technical term for “ashes.”  A normal adult body yields between five and seven pounds of cremains, enough to fill a 12″X 4″ container.

Cremains are generally gray in color and have a consistency similar to playground sand or fine gravel.  From an environmental standpoint, cremains are sterile and non-polluting.

Most funeral homes return cremated remains in a small cardboard box fitted with a plastic-bag liner.  Sometimes the funeral home will stamp the word “temporary” on the box in an effort to sell the family a more permanent – and expensive – urn.  However, you do not need to purchase an urn because any container, including the simple cardboard box, is sufficient for storage purposes.

You can learn more about the cremation process in the Funeral Saver’s Kit.

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Funeral Costs: How much does an average funeral cost?

Many times you’ll people say that the average funeral costs around $6,000.  However, that estimate is based on a price survey taken several years ago.  Funeral prices, like everything else, have increased with inflation.

Today, the average North American traditional funeral costs between $7,000 and $10,000.  This price range includes the services at the funeral home, burial in a cemetery, and the installation of a headstone.  While cremation is gaining in popularity, the traditional funeral is still the most popular manner for disposing of the deceased.

Although funeral prices vary considerably between funeral homes and geographic areas of the country, here is a reasonable “ballpark” estimate of the main costs that are involved:

  • fee for the funeral director’s services: $1,500
  • cost for a casket: $2,300
  • embalming: $500
  • cost for using the funeral home for the actual funeral service: $500
  • cost of a grave site: $1,000
  • cost to dig the grave: $600
  • cost of a grave liner or outer burial container: $1,000
  • cost of a headstone: $1,500

In this example, total costs would approximate $9,000….and that’s just for the “main” items.  There could be additional charges for things like placing the obituary in the newspaper and buying flowers.

Fortunately, there are many things you can do to reduce the cost of funeral services to a more reasonable level.  Learn more about reducing funeral costs.

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Common Funeral Terms – a funeral glossary

ARRANGEMENT CONFERENCE – A meeting held between the funeral director and family members of the deceased to finalize funeral arrangements.  During this meeting the funeral director will discuss the family’s wishes and budget and prepare a binding contract for the funeral goods and services selected by the family.  This meeting usually takes place at the funeral home shortly after death has occurred.  However, it may also be held at a hospital or the family’s home.

 

ARRANGEMENT ROOM – A room at the funeral home used to make the necessary funeral arrangements with the family of the deceased.

 

BEREAVED – (N) The immediate family of the deceased. (V) suffering from grief upon the death of a loved one.

BURIAL – Placing of a dead body in an underground chamber – earth burial- interment

BURIAL CERTIFICATE OR PERMIT – A legal paper issued by the local government authorizing burial. The permit may authorize earth burial or cremation or removal to a distant point.

CASKET – A receptacle of wood, metal or plastic into which the dead human body is placed for burial. Sometimes referred to as a “coffin”.

CASKET COACH – Hearse – A special car designed and used to transport casketed remains from the funeral service to the cemetery. Also known as a Funeral Coach.

CEMETERY – An area of ground set aside for burial or entombment of the deceased.

CERTIFIED DEATH CERTIFICATE – A legalized copy of the original certificate, issued upon request by the local government for the purpose of substantiating various claims by the family of the deceased such as insurance and other death benefits.

CHAPEL – A large room in the funeral home in which the farewell service is held.

COLUMBARIUM – A granite wall for placing an urn containing cremated remains.

COMMITTAL SERVICE – The final portion of the funeral service at which time the deceased is interred or entombed.

COSMETOLOGY – Utilization of cosmetics to restore life like appearance to the deceased.

CREMAINS – another term for “ashes”.

CREMATION – Reduction of the body to ashes by fire.

CREMATION PERMIT – A certificate issued by local government authorizing cremation of the deceased.

CREMATORY – A furnace for cremating remains – a building housing such a furnace.

CRYPT – A vault or room used for keeping remains.

DEATH CERTIFICATE – A legal paper signed by the attending physician showing the cause of death and other vital statistical data pertaining to the deceased.

DEATH NOTICE – That paragraph in the classified section of a newspaper, or on the Internet, publicizing the death of a person and giving those details of the funeral service the survivors wish to have published.  Sometimes referred to as an obituary.

DECEASED – (N) one in whom all physical life has ceased; (V) dead.

DISPLAY ROOM – That room in the funeral home in which caskets, urns, and other funeral merchandise is displayed.

EMBALM – The process of preserving a dead body by means of circulating a preservative embalming fluid through the veins and arteries.

EMBALMING FLUID – Liquid chemicals used in preserving a dead body.

EULOGY- A brief speech (or speeches) that offers praise and celebrates the life of the person who has died. 

EXHUME – To dig up the remains; to remove from the place of burial.

FAMILY CAR – A limousine in the funeral procession set aside for the use of the immediate family.  This is the car right behind the hearse in the funeral procession.

FLOWER CAR – A vehicle used for the transportation of flower pieces from the funeral home to the church and/or cemetery.

FINAL RITES – The funeral service.

FUNERAL ARRANGEMENTS – Funeral director’s conference with the family for the purpose of completing financial and service details of a funeral.

FUNERAL DIRECTOR – A person who prepares for the burial or other disposition of dead human bodies, supervises such burial or disposition, maintains a funeral establishment for such purposes.  Also known as a mortician or undertaker.

FUNERAL HOME – A building used for the purpose of embalming, arranging and conducting funerals.

FUNERAL SERVICE – 1) The profession which deals with the handling of dead human bodies; 2) The religious or other rites conducted immediately before final disposition of the dead human body.

FUNERAL SPRAY – A large bunch of cut flowers sent to the residence of the deceased or to the funeral home as a floral tribute to the deceased.

GRAVE – An excavation in the earth for the purpose of burying the deceased .

GRAVE LINER – A receptacle made of concrete, metal or wood into which the casket is placed.  Normally this item has four sides and a top but no bottom.  The main purpose of this item is to prevent the ground from sinking down around the grave site as the earth settles. By keeping the grass above the grave level with the rest of the cemetery, it’s easier to mow.  This item is less expensive than a vault.

GRAVE (OR MEMORIAL) MARKER – A headstone.  A method of identifying the occupant of a particular grave. Permanent grave markers are usually made of metal or stone and give data such as the name of the individual, date and place of birth, date and place of death.

HONORARY PALLBEARERS – Friends or members of a religious, social or fraternal organization who act as an escort or honor guard for the deceased. Honorary pallbearers do not carry the casket.

INTER – To bury a dead body in the earth in a grave or tomb.

INURNMENT – The placing of cremains (i.e. “ashes”) into an urn.

LEAD CAR – The vehicle in which the funeral director and sometimes the clergyman rides. When the procession is formed, the lead car moves to the front and leads the procession to the church and/or cemetery.  This car is usually in front of the hearse.

LIMOUSINE – An automobile designed to seat five or more persons behind the driver’s seat.

MASS CARDS – A card indicating that a Mass for the deceased has been arranged. (Catholic religion)

MAUSOLEUM – A building specially designed with several chambers to receive casketed remains.  A permanent above ground resting place for the dead.

MEMORIAL – the generic name given to any type of headstone or flat marker used to identify the occupant of a particular grave or crypt. A marker is usually a flat piece of granite or bronze upon which identifying data is inscribed.  A headstone is usually two large pieces of granite or marble upon which the identifying information is carved.  The identifying information may include the name of the individual, date and place of birth, date and place of death.  NOTE: in this kit I use the term “memorial” to represent any type of headstone or marker.  Section 2 of this kit describes in detail the various types and features of memorial markers available.

MEMORIAL DONATION – A memorial contribution specified to a particular cause or charity, usually in lieu of flowers.

MEMORIAL SERVICE – A religious service conducted in memory of the deceased without the body being present.  This term also applies when the service is conducted while the ashes / cremains are present.

MORGUE – A place in which the bodies of persons found dead are kept until identified and claimed or until arrangements for burial have been made.

MORTICIAN – See funeral director.

MORTUARY – A synonym for funeral home – a building specifically designed and constructed for caring for the dead.

MOURNER – One who is present at the funeral out of affection or respect for the deceased.

NICHE – A small opening or recess in a wall that is used to display an urn containing cremated remains.

OBITUARY – A notice of the death of a person usually placed in a newspaper, or on the Internet, containing a biographical sketch of the deceased person.  Sometimes referred to as a death notice.

PALLBEARERS – Individuals whose duty it is to carry the casket when necessary during funeral service. Pallbearers in some sections of the country are hired and in other sections they are close friends and relatives of the deceased.

PLOT – A specific area of ground in a cemetery owned by a family or individual. A plot usually contains two or more graves.  This is the space used to bury the casketed body or an urn containing cremains (ashes).

PREARRANGED FUNERAL – Funeral arrangements completed by an individual prior to his/her death.

PRIVATE SERVICE – This service is by invitation only and may be held at a place of worship, a funeral home or a family home.  This type of service is not open to the public or uninvited friends and family members.

PROCESSION – The vehicular movement of the funeral from the place where the funeral service was conducted to the cemetery. May also apply to a church funeral where the mourners follow the casket as it is brought into and taken out of the church.

PUTREFACTION – The decomposition of the body upon death which causes discoloration and the formation of a foul smelling product.

REGISTER – A book made available by the funeral director for recording the names of people visiting the funeral home to pay their respects to the deceased. Also has space for entering other data such as name, dates of birth and death of the deceased, name of the officiating clergyman, place of interment, time and date of service, list of floral tributes, etc.

REMAINS – The deceased.

REPOSING ROOM – A room of the funeral home where a body is stored from the time it is casketed until the time of the funeral service.

RESTORATION – The process of restoring mutilated and distorted features by employing wax, creams, plaster, etc.

RIGOR MORTIS – Rigidity of the muscles which occurs at death.

SERVICE CAR – Usually a utility vehicle such as a pickup truck or van. It is utilized to transport chairs, flower stands, shipping cases, etc.

SPIRITUAL BANQUET – A Roman Catholic practice involving specific prayers, such as Masses and Rosaries, offered by an individual or a group for a definite purpose.

SURVIVOR – The persons outliving the deceased, particularly the immediate family.

SYMPATHY CARDS – A card sent to the family to express sympathy.

URN – A container into which cremated remains are placed, made of metal, wood or stone.

VAULT – A receptacle made of concrete, metal or wood into which the casket is placed.  Normally this item has four sides and both a top and bottom.  The main purpose of this item is to prevent the ground from sinking down around the grave site as the earth settles. By keeping the grass above the grave level with the rest of the cemetery, it is easier to mow.  This item is more expensive than a grave liner – but it serves the same purpose.

VIEWING - An opportunity for survivors and friends to view the closed casket of the deceased in private, usually in a special room within the funeral home.

VIGIL – A Roman Catholic religious service held on the eve of the funeral service.

VISITATION – An opportunity for survivors and friends to view the open casket of the deceased in private, usually in a special room within the funeral home.

WAKE – A watch kept over the deceased, sometimes lasting the entire night preceding the funeral.

Learn more about funeral and cremation planning.

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What makes up your overall funeral bill?

 Funeral expenses really consist of three separate pieces:

 

1.     the services and merchandise provided by the funeral home

 

2.     the costs and services to dispose of the body or cremains (i.e. ashes) at the cemetery or elsewhere

 

3.     the cost to purchase and install some type of memorial (i.e. headstone, marker, monument)

 

Even if you end up paying for all three pieces through the funeral home, it’s best to break the cost of a funeral down into the above-three categories. 

 

When estimating your TOTAL funeral costs, you must add all three pieces together.  I think this is by far the best way to plan a funeral because it allows you to isolate and prioritize the goods and services that are most important to you.

 

While every family is different, the most common complaint I hear from families is “I wish I would have spent less on the funeral and more on the memorial”.  This makes some sense since the memorial is the only thing that lasts after the funeral is over.  

Learn more about reducing the funeral home’s bill.

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Services offered by a funeral home

Many people want to know what services are offered by a funeral home.  Funeral homes, cemeteries, and memorial dealers all play an important role in caring for a deceased family member.  However, funeral homes normally handle the actual funeral or memorial service. 

 

Different funeral home services

But not all funeral services are like.  In fact, funeral homes offer a range of services designed to accommodate different wishes and budgets. 

 

Here are the most common types of services offered at most funeral homes:

 

·        traditional funeral service

·        immediate burial

·        direct cremation

·        cremation with services

·        donation

·        memorial service

·        graveside service

·        private service

 

You should not finalize any funeral arrangements before you understand the goods, services, and costs associated with each option.  During the arrangement conference  you should ask the funeral director to explain his services and prices in easy-to-understand language so you can make the right decision for your family.  

 

Click to learn more about funeral home services and prices

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What does cremation with services mean?

This article explains cremation with services.  Families choosing cremation have two options: direct cremation or cremation with services. 

Cremation with services often includes elements similar to what you would find in a traditional funeral; however, instead of a casketed body serving as the focal point of ceremonies, the cremated remains are the centerpiece of a memorial service.   

With cremation the body is exposed to high heat and reduced to the consistency of sand.  In the case of cremation with services, the cremation itself could occur after a traditional funeral has been held or the body could be cremated first and the cremains used as the focal point during a memorial service.

A memorial service is any type of service that commemorates the life of the deceased while an urn containing the cremains (i.e. ashes) is in the room.  A funeral service is any type of service that commemorates the life of the deceased while the casketed body is in the room. 

Depending on the timing of cremation, the body may need to be embalmed.  If the body is cremated before any type of formal ceremony is held, embalming is usually not necessary.  If cremation takes place after the body is viewed, embalming is usually required.

To summarize: cremation with services

When you choose cremation with services the body is removed from the place of death to the funeral home or crematory.  The body is then prepared for viewing and visitation, followed by a funeral ceremony and then cremated.

Alternatively, the body could be cremated immediately upon arrival at the funeral home and the cremains used as the centerpiece in a memorial service.

Click here to learn more about cremation.

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What is an “immediate burial”?

Choosing an “immediate burial” when making funeral arrangements can have a big impact on the total cost of a funeral.  This article will explain what the funeral home does when you choose an immediate burial instead of a traditional funeral.

 

What are the key elements of an immediate burial?

 

The funeral home does four things when you choose an immediate burial:

 

·        remove body from place of death to funeral home

·        obtain permits

·        transport body to a final resting place

·        bury or entomb the body upon arrival at the cemetery

 

 

What is an immediate burial?

 

With an immediate burial the body is taken directly from the place of death (or from the morgue) to the cemetery.  Normally, the body stops at the funeral home just long enough to secure the death certificate and burial permit – and for the family to buy the cemetery lot.  The body is then transported to the cemetery where it will be buried in a grave or entombed in a mausoleum crypt.

 

With an immediate burial there is no:

·        funeral ceremony

·        viewing or visitation ceremony

·        grave side ceremony

·        embalming or other body preparation

 

Although immediate burials do not include any type of formal ceremony, many families choose to hold a get-together at a relative’s house following the burial.  This allows the family to get a sense of closure without incurring additional expenses at the funeral home.    

 

Click here to find out how much an immediate burial costs.

 

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What are the advantages, disadvantages, and cost considerations when choosing an immediate burial?

This article describes the benefits and costs of choosing an immediate burial instead of a traditional funeral.

 

Advantages of an immediate burial

 

The most obvious benefit of choosing an immediate burial is its lower cost.  An immediate burial often costs less than half what a typical traditional funeral costs.   

 

An immediate burial is simpler and more expedient than conducting a full-scale funeral service.  This lets you avoid pomp and unnecessary goods and services.

 

Choosing an immediate burial allows you to forgo many costs:

 

·        embalming

·        additional transportation fees (hearse, flower car, utility vehicle, etc.)

·        extra funeral home staff and service charges

·        cosmetic and hair dressing charges

·        funeral chapel or church fees

·        viewing / visitation charges

·        more expensive casket just to “look good”

 

 

Disadvantages of an immediate burial

 

Before choosing an immediate burial, you should be aware of other considerations. 

 

Even though an immediate burial can reduce the funeral home’s charges by a substantial amount, it usually has no impact on cemetery or headstone costs.  You will still need to purchase a grave site and headstone and pay to have the grave site dug. 

 

Some families find the pomp of a traditional funeral more soothing and therapeutic.  They are comforted when others pay their respects to the deceased.  Usually, an immediate burial does not give family and friends an opportunity to show support to the family.

 

Also, since there are no formal remembrance ceremonies at the funeral home, there is not much of an opportunity to celebrate the decedent’s life the way the family wants.  However, the family is free to arrange some type of remembrance service at their church or home.  You can get several ideas for planning a low cost remembrance service from the Funeral Saver’s Kit. 

 

 

Cost considerations of an immediate burial

 

While actual costs vary based on the selected funeral home, the average cost of an immediate burial is approximately $5,500.  This compares favorably to the nearly $10,000 cost associated with a traditional funeral service.  Total costs includes various goods and services: 

 

·        casket and the funeral home’s basic service fee: $2,700

·        miscellaneous (certificates, permits, obituary): $300

·        grave site (including fee to dig the hole): $1,250

·        headstone or grave marker: $1,250

 

 

Click here to learn more about an immediate burial.

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