Archive for Funeral Planning Guidance

Cremation costs – How much does a cremation with services cost?

This article discusses cremation costs related to choosing a cremation with services.

Broadly speaking, the average cost of cremation with services handled through a funeral home is between $2,000 and $4,000.  If these same services are handled directly through a crematory, you can expect to pay between $1,500 and $3,000. 

Typically, these prices include the cost of the actual cremation and a basic memorial service.  Some families may instead choose to cremate the body after first holding a viewing or funeral ceremony. 

This type of cremation with service can increase costs considerably by requiring you to purchase a casket and pay more for the funeral director’s basic services.

When choosing cremation following a funeral service, you can expect to pay between $4,000 to $6,000 at a funeral home or $3,000 to $4,000 at a crematory. 

You can learn more about controlling cremation costs  here.

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Planning an affordable funeral

This article shows you things you can do to plan an affordable funeral.  With the typical funeral now costing more than the price of a decent used car, many families need help planning a more affordable funeral (or cremation) service.

Typical funeral costs vs. affordable funeral costs

Most American funerals now cost between $8,000 and $10,000.  Unfortunately, as baby boomers age, demand for funeral services will grow and drive funeral prices up even further.  Some experts predict that within three years the average traditional funeral will cost nearly $12,000.

With proper planning and a little foresight, you can realistically reduce out-of-pocket funeral expenses by at least 50%. 

Is it too late to plan an affordable funeral service?

While most families do end up spending close to $10,000 on funeral expenses when a loved one dies, more families are also finding ways to reduce or eliminate the tremendous financial burden that death brings.

The key to affordable funeral planning starts by understanding the funeral industry.  Unfortunately, most information about funeral planning comes from funeral directors themselves – or at least it used to.  Sites such as funeral tips.com can take the mystery out of funeral planning and provide objective advice that benefits family members.

Most families don’t know much about funeral planning.  It’s not a topic we like to think about, and the average family only plans a funeral about once every fifteen years.  This means that most families automatically go along with whatever recommendations the funeral director makes. 

Unfortunately, many families don’t realize that funeral homes are in business to make money, so funeral homes won’t usually offer more affordable choices to families – unless the family knows what to ask for. 

That’s the bad news; the good news is that a little education goes a long way.  For example, the typical family using an objective funeral planning guide such as the Funeral Saver’s Kit, usually cuts their funeral bills by more than 50% – saving themselves thousands of dollars in unnecessary expenses.

Planning a more affordable funeral

Here’s a great tip from the Funeral Saver’s Kit that can help you plan a more affordable funeral or cremation service: understand how funeral homes price their goods and services.  While most funeral homes offer similar services, they often price their services differently.  For example, Funeral Home A might charge a large fee for the funeral directors’ time and add a small markup on the price of a casket; while Funeral Home B might charge a smaller fee for the funeral director’s time, but then make up for it by charging more for the casket.

Even though on paper both funeral homes appear to offer the same overall price for a traditional funeral, you’ll find that in most cases, Funeral Home B is willing to give you a larger discount off their normal pricing structure.  You can use the Funeral Saver’s Kit to find those funeral homes in your area that are most likely to offer you a large discount.  It’s easy to negotiate a discount once you know how, and you really can save thousands of dollars in the process. 

The affordable funeral vs. cremation

Over the last few years, a new trend has been emerging: more families are choosing cremation in lieu of a full-blown funeral.  The good news is that cremation can be less expensive than a funeral followed by body burial.  Unfortunately, to protect profit margins, most funeral homes have increased their cremation prices, making cremation a less attractive option compared to what it was just a few years ago. 

While some families have no preference for the deceased, many families don’t like being forced to choose cremation solely because that’s the only thing they can afford. 

If you prefer a traditional funeral but can only afford cremation, don’t despair.  There is plenty you can do to bridge the price gap and lower your overall funeral bill. The key is knowing which funeral home expenses can be eliminated without impacting the funeral service itself. 

If you aren’t sure which items can be safely eliminated without impacting a quality funeral service, read the relevant section in the Funeral Saver’s Kit.

 Affordable funeral costs – what’s the verdict?

As the baby boomer generation reaches retirement age, demand for funeral goods and services will outstrip the ability of funeral homes to provide those goods and services.  Unfortunately, this means that funeral prices will likely increase by a substantial amount over the next two decades. 

Fortunately, technology and the Internet can make it easier for savvy families to beat the funeral homes at their own game.  Consumer-friendly funeral planning tools, such as the Funeral Saver’s Kit, can save families thousands of dollars in unnecessary expenses and help them plan a more affordable funeral.  This is especially welcome news in such uncertain economic times.

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Donating your body to science – what you need to know about body donation

Many people consider donating their body to science in lieu of choosing a funeral followed by cemetery burial.   

Donating your body to science:  a basic description

When you choose to donate a deceased body to science, you are essentially donating the body to aid medical research – usually to teach medical students about anatomy.

When you donate a body, a representative from the medical school picks up the body and takes it to back to the school school where it’s embalmed and stored.  The body is used to teach anatomy to medical students during the following semester’s classes.  After the semester ends, the body is cremated.

The cremated remains (i.e. cremains) are either returned to the family or buried in communal plot in a cemetery near the medical school. 

Families choosing to donate a body to science can still choose to hold their own memorial service after the death; however, in cases of body donation, the cremains will not be present during the memorial service (because the body needs to be transported to the medical school immediately following death).

The medical school usually holds a single memorial service for all of the bodies used during the previous semester’s classes, and surviving family members are invited to attend the ceremony.   The medical school’s memorial service occurs approximately two years after the date of death.

After the school holds their memorial service, the cremains are usually buried in a cemetery near the medical school.  However, the family can also request the cremains be returned to the family.  Again, this occurs nearly two years after death.

Body donation – typical requirements

Medical schools have specific rules that must be followed in order to donate a body for their use.  Most schools only accept fully-intact bodies (because they can also use the organs in their research).  This means most schools will not accept a body that has been autopsied or that has donated bodily organs.  

Note: usually, you are allowed to donate the eyes without jeopardizing the full body donation – but check with your specific donation program first, just to be sure.

Here is an index that identifies body donation programs.

I live near the Cleveland Clinic, and they also have a reputable medical donation program.

There is usually no cost associated with donating a body to a medical school, as long as you deal directly with the school itself.  Many funeral homes will help arrange a medical donation, but they usually charge a fee (about $1,000) for doing so.

If you are thinking about body donation as a way to avoid the expense of a funeral, considering consulting the Funeral Saver’s Kit.  Its helped thousands of families reduce burdensome funeral expenses and choose the end-of-life options that are right for them.  It includes even more information about donating a body to science.

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The advantages and disadvantages of donating your body to science

Many people consider donating their body to science in lieu of choosing a funeral followed by burial in a cemetery.  Body donation (or medical donation, as it is sometimes called), has advantages and disadvantages

Advantages of donating your body to science

One of the chief advantages related to donating your body to science is that this option is often considerably less expensive than other funeral options.  By donating your body to science, you avoid costs associated with body burial in a cemetery.  You may also be able to lower or reduce costs related to the headstone or memorial marker.

A body donation can also be fairly simple to arrange: normally you file basic paperwork with a donor program (usually a medical school) and then notify the donor program immediately following the death.  Representatives from the medical school will dispatch professionals to pick up the decedent and transport the body back to the medical school.

Moreover, the donor program or medical school accepting the body usually takes full responsibility for handling the eventual cremation and burial tasks.  Families are usually given the option of having cremated remains buried at the school site or returned to the family once the school is finished using the body for teaching purposes.

Donating your body to medical science also has an altruistic advantage in that your donation helps train future doctors and surgeons and may help find cures to a variety of diseases.  While this may not be a high priority in some families, other families take solace in the fact that they are able to make a positive impact on future generations.

Medical donation / Body donation – disadvantages to consider

While medical donation offers many advantages, there are also disadvantages you should consider before finalizing your plans.

You need to plan carefully to ensure that the body will be accepted regardless of the manner of death.  Some donation programs exclude bodies that have expired from certain conditions.  Should you (or a loved one) die in a manner that is excluded under the terms of the donor program, surviving family members would be responsible for making alternative arrangements.  This means even if you were planning on donating your body to science at relatively no cost, you could end up with unexpected funeral bills.

Most donor programs have counselors that can clearly explain which methods of death are acceptable or excludable under their program guidelines.  By talking with the donor program counselor and reviewing their literature, you can reduce –and in many cases eliminate- the risk of an expensive surprise.  Some programs will agree to accept the body regardless of the manner of death – even if the school determines they cannot use the body for teaching purposes.

It is also important to remember that medical donation may not be a viable alternative for “at need” cases.  Most donor programs require program registration prior to the time of death.  Because most medical schools require the decedent to be delivered immediately upon death, there often is not enough time to register for medical donation after the person has died.

This means you should have a backup plan when choosing medical donation.  You want to have a “plan B” just in case your donation is not accepted by the medical school because of an excludable manner of death or because the body could not be transported to the medical school within a reasonable amount of time.  Again, the donor program counselor will be able to provide clear guidance as to what manners of death and what time frames for delivery are acceptable.

Also, because most medical schools use bodily organs in their research, they usually do not accept bodies whose organs have been donated.  So if donating your organs is important to you, the medical donation option may not be available to you.  Similarly, autopsied bodies are usually not eligible for medical donation for the same reason.

Note: most medical schools do allow you to donate your eyes without jeopardizing a full body donation.

While donating your body to science can be a wonderful way to serve future generations, the process may not celebrate the decedent’s life as the family wants.  Because time is of the essence when donating a body, there usually is not time to hold a funeral or memorial service with the body present.  This doesn’t mean the family can’t hold a memorial service anyway; it just means that they will have to hold the service in the absence of the body or cremated remains.

Because some families find that holding a funeral is therapeutic and helps them begin the healing process, forgoing a funeral for body donation, may be less satisfying to some  surviving family members.

Although all medical schools hold a community memorial service to pay respects to the bodies used during the previous semester’s classes, this ceremony usually does not occur until approximately 18 months after the date of death.  This extended “waiting period” often may delay the family’s feeling of closure.

Lastly, because the body needs to be preserved for a long time period (usually until the next school semester starts), the medical school will be required to embalm the body.

Donating your body to medical science has many advantages and disadvantages.  The above considerations can be used as a starting point for making an appropriate decision.

You can learn more about donating your body to medical science here.

 

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What are the advantages and disadvantages of direct cremation?

Direct Cremation Advantages

Direct cremation offers an affordable alternative to traditional body burial. 

While direct cremation can significantly reduce funeral home costs, you can reap additional financial benefits from the cemetery and headstone dealer.  If you choose not to bury the cremated remains – and many people do not - you can eliminate many items that make the traditional funeral so expensive. 

Here is a list of costs you can eliminate by choosing direct cremation:

  • expensive casket
  • embalming
  • funeral home staff and facilities charge
  • cosmetic and hair dressing charges
  • funeral chapel or church fees
  • viewing or visitation charges
  • transportation fees (hearse, flower car, utility vehicle, etc.)
  • burial plot or mausoleum crypt
  • vault or grave liner
  • grave opening and closing costs
  • headstone or grave marker

But price is not the only advantage in choosing direct cremation.  Many people prefer cremation because the cremains (i.e. ashes) are portable.  This allows families to take remains with them when they move.  Many people also feel that choosing cremation over body burial is friendlier to the environment because no land is disturbed. 

Direct cremation is also simpler and more expedient.  The entire affair usually takes place in just two or three days; furthermore, direct cremation requires less time commitment from the family.  This can be especially important if surviving family members are ill, disabled, or live far away.

Cremation also offers a wide range of disposition options.  While most families decide to keep remains at home, other options exist.   You can find many creative cremation options in the Funeral Saver’s Kit.

 

Direct Cremation Disadvantages

While direct cremation offers many advantages, you also need to consider its potential disadvantages before finalizing your plans. 

Because many families find comfort in holding a traditional funeral service, a simpler direct cremation may not be therapeutic enough to satisfy surviving family members. 

In addition, direct cremation does not allow the family to celebrate the decedent’s life, nor does it give friends an opportunity to say goodbye.

And because the funeral home makes less money when providing direct cremation services, funeral home employees may try harder to sell you extras.

Lastly, even though you may not have to buy a grave site or headstone, you will incur an additional expense if you decide to purchase an urn.

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What are the advantages and disadvantages of choosing cremation with services?

Choosing cremation with services has advantages and disadvantages.  In many ways this choice combines the benefits of traditional funeral services with the cost savings associated with cremation.

Cremation with services: advantages

Choosing cremation with services can be more therapeutic than choosing direct cremation for some families.  Because this choice includes some type of remembrance ceremony (e.g. a viewing or funeral ceremony), many families find this more comforting than direct cremation. 

The viewing or memorial service allows friends and family to share in commemorating the life of the deceased and gives friends a chance to comfort the family.

Cremation can also be much less expensive than a full traditional funeral.  Choosing cremation allows you to eliminate many costs associated with funerals including the casket, gravesite, cemetery fee, and headstone cost.

Many people also consider cremation a more environmentally-friendly option because no land is disturbed for burial purposes. 

Another benefit of cremation is that it provides portability of cremains.  If surviving family members move away, they can easily take cremated remains with them. 

Cremation also allows for a wide variety of disposition options.  While some families do decide to bury cremains in a cemetery, most families simply take the cremains home.  However, many other options exist.  Please see the Funeral Saver’s Kit for a complete discussion of cremation options.

 

Cremation with services: disadvantages

Cremation also has its disadvantages.  Choosing cremation with related services will always cost more than choosing direct cremation.  Because cremation is less profitable for funeral homes, they often try to sell families unnecessary and expensive add-ons.  This is much easier to do when the family chooses cremation with services.

Also, if the family does decide to bury cremated remains in a cemetery, they will still need to purchase grave space and pay for the installation of a headstone or grave marker.  However, costs are usually lower when burying cremains than they are for burying a casketed body.

Depending on the type of services you choose, cremation with services can trigger costs such as an expensive casket (if you choose to have a viewing ceremony of the body prior to cremation), embalming, funeral home fees, and the cost of an urn.

This article highlights the main issues you need to consider when choosing cremation with services.  Many people prefer this arrangement because it combines memorial benefits with the savings associated with cremation. 

However, just like any other funeral home service, you need to make sure you fully understand what you are getting for your money.  You can learn more about reducing cremation costs in the Funeral Saver’s Kit.

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Cost considerations when choosing direct cremation

This article will discuss the costs involved in choosing a direct cremation.  There are two basic ways to arrange for direct cremation: through a funeral home or directly through a crematory.  A crematory is a business that only performs cremation services.

Generally speaking, most funeral homes do not perform cremations themselves.  Instead, they contract out their cremation services to a crematory and include the crematory’s fees as part of the funeral home’s bill.  Many times the funeral home will add a separate handling fee to the crematory’s charges. 

This means it’s usually less expensive to arrange direct cremation through the crematory.  Doing so allows you to eliminate any extra fees from the funeral home.   

Average Direct Cremation Costs

The average cost of performing a direct cremation through a funeral home is between $1,600 and $3,000.  Costs can run as high as $5,500 if you purchase a casket to be used in the cremation. 

The average cost of performing a direct cremation through a crematory is between $1,000 and $2,200.  Again, costs can be significantly more if you cremate the body in an expensive casket.

From a practical standpoint, there isn’t a good reason to purchase a casket for use in a direct cremation.  You’ll be fine using a less-expensive cardboard box, sometimes referred to as an “alternative container.”

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What costs are associated with a traditional funeral service?

This post provides price ranges for many of the items associated with a traditional funeral service.  Reviewing these considerations will help you identify the type of funeral service most appropriate for your budget.  

A traditional funeral service can cost nearly $10,000

While the average funeral costs nearly $7,500, many traditional funerals cost in excess of $10,000.  Here are the main components typically associated with a traditional funeral:

  • casket: $2,300
  • funeral director’s basic services fee: $1,400
  • embalming and body preparation: $600
  • viewing / visitation ceremony: $400
  • funeral ceremony: $450
  • transportation (pick up body, limousine, and hearse): $625
  • miscellaneous (certificates, permits, music, clergy, obituary, register book, service folders, obituary, flowers): $500
  • grave site $1,000
  • fee to dig grave site $500
  • headstone $1,500

The above costs represent national averages for many of the costs associated with a traditional funeral service.  Your actual costs could be higher (or lower) based upon geographic location, the funeral home you select, and the actual items you purchase. 

Click to learn more about the cost of a traditional funeral service.

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How to write a eulogy

Eulogy is pronounced like this:  /Yule-ah-gee/

A eulogy is simply a speech about a loved one who has died. This speech is usually given during a memorial or funeral ceremony.  While it is often given by a close friend or relative of the deceased, it can also be given by a religious leader. 

Don’t stress out over giving a eulogy.  Think of it as a simple conversation with the family and friends about the life of the person who has died.  Remember, the funeral or memorial ceremony is usually only attended by people that somehow mattered to the deceased.  They are eager to hear about the deceased and will appreciate anything you say. 

Also, almost EVERYONE is afraid of speaking in public so the “audience” is NOT expecting you to give a flawless speech.  If fact, if you “mess up” a little (or a lot), the audience tends to rally around you even more.  They really do!

There is no “right way” to compose a eulogy.  Since most people have no idea what a eulogy is supposed to sound like, you can pretty much create it any way you want.  Here are some things you may want to talk about:  

  • a brief “life history” of the person who has died
  • important achievements and events in the deceased’s life
  • details about family, friends, work, and hobbies
  • favorite memories of the deceased

Most eulogies last between 5 and 15 minutes but there are no hard and fast rules here.  You can also deliver “vignette” eulogies.  This is where several different people take turns speaking about the deceased.  For example, each of the children of a deceased parent could give a small speech about their favorite respective memory with the deceased. 

Breaking a single eulogy into separate vignettes gives others a chance to participate in the services and takes the pressure off of just one speaker.  Even if each person speaks for just a little while, it will seem like a longer, more robust speech because it takes time for each person to walk up to the podium and then return to their seat.

Basic steps for writing a eulogy:

  1. Write a brief chronological outline of the key events that occurred in the person’s life from the time of birth until death.  This will often remind you of several pivotal events experienced by the person (e.g. graduating from college, getting married, serving in the military, starting a business, etc.) that may be worth mentioning.
  2. Write down your favorite memories of the deceased.  Ask others (friends, relatives, co-workers) if they have favorite memories you can share.  Often times people have things they want to say during the funeral but they are either afraid to speak or aren’t afforded an opportunity. 
  3. Make a list of some of the things that were important to the deceased person….things he/she was passionate about.  This may trigger stories of their own that you can incorporate into your speech.
  4. Combine all your thoughts, ideas, comments, and memories into one giant list.  Review this list and decide which things you want to include in your speech.
  5. Organize your chosen comments into some type of order.  For example you might want to organize by:
  • Chronological date the events occurred
  • Common themes (e.g. family, career, work, hobbies)
  • Speaker (if you plan on using vignette eulogies); develop a schedule that shows when each person is to speak.

More eulogy tips

Write out your speech.  You may feel more comfortable writing out the entire speech or you may just decide to use note cards with a few sentences that will trigger your memory so you remember what it is you want to say.  Again, there is no one right way.  Some people will commit the speech to memory and never need to refer to their notes; others will look at their speech and read it word-for-word without ever looking at the audience.  Use whatever method is most natural for you.

Your speech can be serious, light-hearted, or a combination of both.  A mix of both seriousness and humor is most popular.  Funerals are a combination of sadness and celebration.  People will grieve at funerals, but it’s OK to laugh too.  It really is!

Also, since no one but you will ever see what you have written you don’t need to worry about grammar or spelling.  All you need is to have something in writing that will remind you of what it is you want to say.  

Practice saying your speech out loud while in front of a mirror.  This will help you develop a natural speaking rhythm and will highlight any verbal or physical habits that could be a distraction to your audience.  

Remember to take a clean copy of your speech with you to the funeral home.  You can either write it out word-for-word or just make a few necessary note cards to trigger your memory. (Make sure you number the note cards so you can keep them in order.)

 Delivering the eulogy:

 Focus on honoring the deceased instead of worrying about how your speech will sound to others.

  • Take deep breathes before beginning your speech. This will help you regain composure and slow your heart rate down.  This will also help you speak in a slower, more controlled manner.  
  • Take a drink of water before speaking (or take something to drink with you to the podium) to keep your mouth from getting dry.    
  • Remember: that it’s OK to show emotion. If you become emotional and start to cry, that’s perfectly normal (even if you are a guy!). No one will think any less of you.  Take time to regain your composure, but if you’re unable, simply say “I am sorry, but I can’t go on right now” and return to your seat.  The funeral director or clergy member will step in and continue the ceremony from where you let off.

One final thought:  It’s an honor to be asked to give a eulogy.  You wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t special to the deceased in some way.  Others know this and they will EXPECT you to be grieving too.

 

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Funeral Home Services: what’s the difference between a funeral service and a memorial service?

 Funeral homes provide different services depending on the needs and preferences of the decedent’s family.  While many people use the phrases “funeral service” and “memorial service” interchangeably, they are actually different services.

A “funeral service” is any official ceremony that takes place in the presence of a casketed body.  In other words, the body (inside a casket) is present during the ceremony.  The casket lid may be open or closed.

A “memorial service”, on the other hand, is any official ceremony that takes place without the casketed body being present.  For example, the ceremony might take place with just an urn containing cremated remains (i.e. “ashes”) serving as the focal point of the ceremony.  Alternatively, the focal point could be just a picture of the deceased displayed on an easel. 

Other than this distinction, both a funeral service and a memorial service are similar.  Both types of services last approximately 25 minutes and are usually accompanied by a eulogy delivered by a family member or clergy member.

Usually, a funeral home will charge the same amount for a memorial ceremony as they charge for a funeral ceremony (around $500).  Remember, the ceremony itself is just one component of overall funeral costs.  A typical funeral or memorial service can easily run more than $7,000.

There are many things you may want to consider when deciding between a funeral, memorial, or cremation service. 

Learn more about funeral and memorial options.

 

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